A Return to Loveliness

Love Letters

After my parent’s death, my siblings and I went through the things stored in my parent’s attic. In an old black military trunk alongside my Dad’s Navy uniform were bundles of letters tied with ribbon. During the several months my Dad was out to sea my parents would keep in touch through letters.

When I saw these letters, to me they seemed sacred. These were private thoughts and wishes shared between two lovers.

Someday, I am sure we’ll get together to read these letters. 

But, for a while, we’ll hold them dear.

For Centuries, correspondence bearing a familiar handwriting and perhaps perfumed with a signature fragrance were anticipated sending the receiver to a private corner to take in the words from the heart of another.

One of my favorite books is a compilation of love letters from Stonewall Jackson to his wife Anna. 'Beloved Bride', shows the tender side to a man known for his ‘iron will and stern self discipline’. Stonewall Jackson was a man of deep abiding faith in God and maintained tremendous integrity.

Despite being in the deep throes of war, Stonewall Jackson made time to write long, tender letters of his love and devotion to his wife, Anna.

This would be a lovely tea time read and a wonderful book to share with sons as an example of a strong, Christian husband.

I too have kept all the cards and letters my husband has given me over the years. They’re stored in boxes and tins in my wardrobe. Perhaps someday, my children will go through these letters and see the deep abiding faith in my husband and be comforted by the deep love we share for one another.

'43-2001

'39-1997

To Mom and Dad – I miss you very much.

To my Dearest, I thank God for you and love you deeply.

A Return to Loveliness 

is a blog party I host celebrating

bringing loveliness into our lives and into our homes

as well as celebrating Tea Time

To Join

simply publish a post, copy the URL specific to this post

and apply to the LINKY provided below.

I am joining these Delightsome Tea Parties:

Tea Time Tuesday

Teacup Tuesday

Teacup Tuesday 

Tea Party Tuesday 

Tuesday Cuppa Tea Party 

Friends Sharing Tea 

Teacup Thursday

Simply Sweet and L.A.C.E. 

Thank you for visiting and participating,

Wishing you a very Delightsome Valentines,

No commentsRead more

For My Mom at Thanksgiving

Warning:  This post is just me talking, mostly.  And it's long.  Sorry, no pretty pictures today.


The little lady in the center
of the picture, below, is my mother.  
Our two daughters and my sister's four girls surround their Muttie.

I don't remember exactly what year this was -- 2004, 2005?  
We had not yet moved to That Old House; this is in the living room of our last home.
That's my brother-in-law Scott's ear in the lower right corner . . . it was Thanksgiving Day.

Maybe someone else in the family can pinpoint the year.
I think it was the Fall that Aine was born, as I remember Mama holding a baby girl in her arms.
Now ask me if I can remember what year our great-niece Aine was born.

Whatever the year, it was the last time Mom joined us for Thanksgiving.
The Alzheimer's was already taking a terrible toll on her cognitive and other abilities;
it was a triumph of her will and my father's stubbornness that they got to this last gathering.

The next time they crossed the rivers to New Jersey from Long Island, it was to assisted living.

***************************************

Alzheimer's took Mom's life in January 2010.
As all too many of you know, losing somebody this way is a long, slow, heartbreaking ordeal.
One of the heartaches is realizing that your grief, afterward, is all mixed up with relief.
That feels so wrong. 

In the year that followed, I was absorbed with our Dad; at 90, he was getting more frail, and there were repeated hospital admissions for one thing or another.  When he passed away, 13 months after Mom, my grief was keener, more immediate, and I missed him terribly.

And it bothered me that I missed Dad more than I had missed Mom.
I thought it was because Dad had been there with us, was still enjoying life, loving parties, making cell phone calls, watching his big screen TV, flirting with pretty girls . . . he was still Dad, and still very much a presence in our lives.

But my feelings for Mom are more complicated.
I began grieving for her in 2002, when I first suspected that something was seriously wrong.

As Alzheimer's destroyed more and more of her brain, it took her further away from us,
and really -- isn't that what grieving is?  Mourning the loss of someone's presence?

By the time she left this Earth, most of her had already gone.  And so had much of my grief.

****************************************

So that brings me to this year, and Thanksgiving.

And in my holiday planning, my TBDBT List making, my menus and timelines and guest lists and more . . . 

I am missing my Mom.  More.  More keenly.

I guess I've entered a new phase of grief.  I'm grieving for all we lost in those last 8 or so years, all those phone calls that never happened, all those laughs that weren't shared, all those memories that weren't made.

I am ridiculously angry that my mother suffered so terribly in the grip of this monstrous disease; what good is anger if there's no one you can be angry with?  Stuff happens, and Mom drew the short straw on this one.

In an odd way, it feels good to be feeling so bad.

I'm grieving the old Mom, the whole Mom, the Mom before Alzheimer's began dismantling her brain.

******************************

So, Mama, I'm doing a little more crying these days.

Like, now.

How lucky we were, you and I, the two Catherines, to be so close,

laugh so well together, argue so well sometimes, too.

Hello, Mrs. Tip Top Lady Bread . . . wish you were here.  -- Cass

Mom's Recipe Box, jammed with memories.
I like seeing her quirky handwriting.

No commentsRead more

An Enduring Love

MOM & DAD'S WEDDING/ANNIVERSARY CAKE

Today is a very special day!

For on this day—fifty-six years ago—my precious parents were wed.

MOM & DAD ON THEIR HONEYMOON IN 1955



They were merely teenagers when they made the decision to become

husband and wife.

With the consent and blessings of their parents, they committed their lives to one

 another before a justice of the peace—no fanfare, no elaborate wedding... 

just the two of them and two witnesses.

Now while most people consider the fiftieth wedding anniversary the anniversary

to celebrate, last year will most likely be the one most remembered by 

my parents and their loved ones.

It all started when my dad decided to surprise my mom with the church wedding

 she had never had, as a fifty-fifth anniversary gift.  It was to be

a simple affair—

the two of them, their children and their children's families.

Simple...

with five daughters?  I don't think so!

THE PASTOR, DAD, DAD'S BROTHER & BEST MAN

So while Mom and Dad were making plans for their simple wedding & anniversary

celebration, other plans were being made, as well.

MOM & DAD EXCHANGING VOWS



Without their knowledge, extended family members, friends, and acquaintances

were being invited to this blessed event.  And arrangements were being made for a

catered reception—something neither of them had planned for...

nor expected.

DAD KISSING HIS BRIDE OF 55 YEARS

The ceremony was incredibly sweet, and few eyes were without tears, as we witnessed

yet another testimonial of the enduring love

of my parents.

THE HAPPY BRIDE & GROOM

As I watched my dad take the hand of his bride and walk down the aisle, I was

overcome with emotion.

With five daughters, he certainly was no novice at walking brides

down church aisles.

But...

 this was the very first time he had ever walked his own bride down the aisle.

And I was blessed beyond measure to witness it!

I love you, Mom and Dad!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

No commentsRead more

Happy Mother's Day

To My Mom

I think about you so very often. You've meant so much to me as a child, and more so now as a woman, wife and mother.

Your example has meant the world to me.

I appreciate more and more the wonderful mother you were to all five of us your children.

I am the eldest of Patricia's children. The little boy in front of me is
my brother Tim, whose birthday is today too - He was killed
January 2010 - two more sweet reasons Jesus and Heaven are so much
more special to me.

God surely blessed us with you.

I miss you, Mom.

Until I see you again in Heaven.

I'll always love you.

No commentsRead more

Happy 55th Anniversary, Mom & Dad!!!

Dad and Mom in Germany in 1956.

Inspiration

You two are an inspiration to the world.

Looking at you, we know that

soul mates can find and keep each other,

commitment means something,

a great team can overcome life’s troubles,

and love triumphs over all.

Happy Anniversary!

By Joanna Fuchs

At the beach on their honeymoon in 1955.

Thanks for setting such a wonderful example of enduring love for your family. 
I love you both very, very much!

No commentsRead more

In Praise of Mom

One of my goals—during my first year of blogging—is to introduce you to those whom I hold most dear to my heart. 

Thus far, you have been given a brief introduction to my incredibly talented Yankee husband, several glimpses of my precious granddaughter, Lana, and an in-depth intro to my lovely daughter, Asheley.

Since this is the time of year when everyone in the blogosphere seems to show off their moms, I thought I would join in on the celebration. 

And yes, I am aware that Mother's Day was yesterday.  But my mom's birthday is today, May 10th, so I decided to postpone my tribute by a day and combine the post for Mother's Day and Mom's birthday.

I am the eldest of five children—all girls. 

When my mom got pregnant with me, she was in Germany—thousands of miles from home and family,

for the very first time in her life.

I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for her to be in a foreign country, where she could not speak the language, where she knew few people, other than my dad—who was often gone on military maneuvers—and where she had to experience all the ups and downs of pregnancy without support from loved ones.

Yet, she made the best of her circumstances for my sake, as well as my dad's.

Throughout the years, as I have spent countless hours pouring over family photos and videos, I have gazed into the same sweet, loving face of a woman totally devoted to her husband and children.

I have learned so much from my mom about what it means to be self-sacrificing, totally giving of oneself to meet the needs of others—especially loved ones.

She has the most caring nature and generous spirit of anyone I have every known. 

And, the love she has for her family has been a beacon of light that has been a constant throughout the good times and the bad.

Though each of her children—myself included—have given her much cause for work and worry in raising us, she has always fulfilled her role of mother with patience, kindness, and an understanding heart. 

She has been the most wonderful role model of a loving, devoted wife and mother that I have ever witnessed. 

And her example has molded and shaped who I am as a wife and mother more than she will ever know.

My prayer for you Mom, this Mother's Day and birthday, is for...

health, happiness, and a long, long life...

and to be blessed beyond measure, as you have blessed me.

I LOVE YOU MOM, WITH ALL MY HEART!!!

"Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'"  Proverbs 31:28,29

No commentsRead more